Jimmy Kimmel Talks to Perfectly Named People

Jimmy Kimmel Talks to Perfectly Named People


NATIONAL SELFIE DAY. SO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF AND SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE. BUT YOU CAN SEE NOW WE HAVE UP ON THE SCREEN SOME VERY INTERESTING PEOPLE. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE YOU COME ACROSS A PERSON WHOSE NAME FITS HIS OR HER OCCUPATION. LIKE IF YOU’RE A LAWYER AND YOUR NAME IS SUE, FOR INSTANCE. SO WE SCOURED THE COUNTRY FOR PEOPLE WITH NAMED THAT MATCH THEIR JOBS. THEY ARE JOINING US NOW ON THE WALL OF AMERICA, OUR BIG CISCO SCREEN. HELLO, EVERYBODY. HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OKAY, GOOD. LET’S GET TO KNOW YOU ONE AT A TIME. WE’RE GOING TO START WITH SUN PRAIRIE, WISCONSIN. THIS GENTLEMAN IS A VOLUNTEER FIREFIGHTER. HOW MANY YEARS HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS?>>30 YEARS, JIMMY.>>Jimmy: 30 YEARS YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT. AND YOUR NAME IS?>>LES McBURNEY.>>Jimmy: LES McBURNEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] GOOD. YOU GO IN WITH A HOSE AND YOU LITERALLY MAKE THINGS LESS McBURNEY.>>THERE YOU GO.>>Jimmy: DID HAVING THIS NAME INFLUENCE YOUR DECISION TO BECOME A FIREFIGHTER?>>IT DID NOT.>>Jimmy: IT DID NOT.>>NO.>>Jimmy: DO PEOPLE MENTION IT TO YOU A LOT?>>ONLY WHEN ON THE INTERNET I DID AN INVESTIGATION AND IT HIT THE WORLDWIDE WEB AND THAT’S PRETTY MUCH THE END OF THAT.>>Jimmy: THAT’S PROBABLY HOW WE FOUND YOU TOO. LES McBURNEY WOULD ALSO BE A GOOD NAME FOR A UROLOGIST. [ LAUGHTER ] SO I DON’T KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY SONS OR ANYTHING. BUT THANK YOU, LES. YOU ARE INDEED PERFECTLY NAMED. NEXT UP WE HEAD TO AUSTIN, TEXAS TO MEET A PERFECTLY NAMED DENTIST. HELLO THERE. HOW ARE YOU?>>HEY, JIMMY. HOW ARE YOU DOING?>>Jimmy: I’M DOING WELL. ARE YOU IN YOUR DENTAL OFFICE RIGHT NOW?>>YES. YES, I AM. STICKING AROUND A LITTLE LATE.>>Jimmy: ANYONE WAITING TO HAVE A CAVITY FILLED OR ANYTHING?>>NO. NOT YET. WE’RE ALL DONE FOR THE DAY.>>Jimmy: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DENTISTING? [ LAUGHTER ]>>I’VE BEEN A DENTIST FOR 19 YEARS.>>Jimmy: AND DO YOU LIKE IT? GOOD JOB TO HAVE?>>YEAH. YEAH. I’VE ENJOYED IT.>>Jimmy: DO YOU EVER TAKE A HIT OFF THE NITROUS OXIDE JUST TO MAKE SURE IT’S STILL WORKING? [ LAUGHTER ]>>NO. YOU’VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL WITH THAT KIND OF STUFF. WE DON’T DO THAT, JIMMY.>>Jimmy: WE HAVE NOT REVEALED YOUR NAME YET, BUT DO PEOPLE MENTION IT TO YOU A LOT?>>YES. ALL THE TIME. PEOPLE CHOOSE ME JUST BECAUSE MY NAME STICKS OUT ON THEIR INSURANCE LIST. [ LAUGHTER ]>>Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. LET’S FIND OUT YOUR NAME. YOUR NAME IS?>>I AM DR. CHIP SILVERTOOTH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: THAT’S A GOOD NAME. AND DOCTOR, HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO FIX A CHIPPED SILVER TOOTH?>>IT DEPENDS WHAT WE NEED.>>Jimmy: HEY, I HEARD THAT SOME DENTISTS WERE SAYING YOU DON’T NEED TO FLOSS ANYMORE, THAT IT’S A WASTE OF TIME. DO YOU BELIEVE IN FLOSSING?>>OF COURSE I BELIEVE IN FLOSSING.>>Jimmy: THERE WE GO. CHIP SILVERTOOTH BELIEVES IN FLOSSING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NEXT LET’S GO ALL THE WAY TO NOBLESVILLE, INDIANA TO MEET A PERFECTLY NAMED CONTRACTOR. HELLO THERE. HOW ARE YOU? HELLO PERFECTLY NAMED CONTRACTOR.>>I’M GREAT. HOW ARE YOU?>>Jimmy: I’M DOING WELL. DID YOU BUILD THE KITCHEN WE SEE BEHIND YOU?>>ACTUALLY I DID, YES.>>Jimmy: I WOULD HOPE SO. HOW OFTEN DO PEOPLE COMMENT ON YOUR NAME?>>SURPRISINGLY NOT AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT THINK. I MIGHT GET IT MAYBE ONCE A MONTH.>>Jimmy: ONCE A MONTH. OKAY. WELL, LET’S REVEAL YOUR PERFECT NAME. AND SO EVERYONE CAN ENJOY IT.>>HI. MY NAME IS PAUL SCHWINGHAMMER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: SCHWINGHAMMER. ARE YOU FROM — ARE THERE A LOT OF SCHWINGHAMMERS IN YOUR AREA?>>WELL, SURPRISINGLY, WHERE I GREW UP DOWN IN THE SOUTHERN PART OF INDIANA, THE SCHWINGHAMMER NAME IS AS COMMON AS STEMPENOGEL AND GROMERSTOPPER.>>Jimmy: SCHWINGHAMMER IS GOOD FOR CONSTRUCTION OR PORN, BY THE WAY. [ LAUGHTER ] WHICH GETS MORE ATTENTION, THE HAMMER OR THE SCHWING PART OF IT? [ LAUGHTER ]>>WELL, BECAUSE OF “WAYNE’S WORLD” I DO GET THE SCHWING THING QUITE A BIT.>>Jimmy: THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A NIGHTMARISH TIME FOR YOU IN THE ’90s.>>YEAH. IT STILL COMES UP EVERY NOUN AND THEN.>>Jimmy: I’M GLAD YOU COULD MOVE PAST THAT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PAUL. AND FINALLY, WE GO TO WEST HILLS, CALIFORNIA. AND WHAT MAY I ASK DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING, MA’AM?>>I AM A GYNECOLOGIST.>>Jimmy: YOU ARE A GYNECOLOGIST. AN OB-GYN. YOU DELIVER BABIES I ASSUME?>>I HAVE DELIVERED BABIES FOR THE PAST 19 YEARS AND I STOPPED DELIVERING ABOUT FOUR MONTHS AGO.>>Jimmy: ALL RIGHT. AND YOUR PERFECT NAME IS?>>MY NAME IS DR. LAUREN HYMEN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>Jimmy: DO YOU EVER SAY DR. HYMEN AT YOUR CERVIX? [ LAUGHTER ]>>I THINK I HEAR THAT ONCE A WEEK.>>Jimmy: YOU SHOULD START USING IT. I WAS TOLD WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED YOU DECIDED TO KEEP YOUR MAIDEN NAME. WHAT NAME COULD YOUR HUSBAND POSSIBLY HAVE YOU THAT YOU DECIDED TO KEEP YOUR MAIDEN NAME?>>DR. KROVITZ ISN’T THAT INTERESTING. AND AT THAT POINT I WAS ALREADY IN PRACTICE. MY LAST NAME HAD BECOME THE PERFECT CALLING CARD. O’SO I WENT FROM HIDING MY LAST NAME TO JUST LEANING IN.>>Jimmy: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO JUST DIVE RIGHT INTO IT, DON’T

Author: Kevin Mason

100 thoughts on “Jimmy Kimmel Talks to Perfectly Named People

  1. This has been driving me crazy actually! Is there a term for names that suit the person or career? Like onomatopoeia, but for names.

  2. – I had a gynaecologist called Dr. Vrijens, which in Dutch means "Dr. Lovemaking".
    – In the town I grew up there was a funeral home called "Luc Bury", run by Luc Bury. Bury is a common Belgian surname.
    – And then the best one, in that same town was a gas station called "Aerts Smeermiddelen", which means "anal lubrication" if spelled slightly differently (as "aars smeermiddelen") but pronounced the same. "Aerts" is a common Belgian surname, and the "lubricants" part refers to greasing agents for car parts. All true strories that crack me up to this day.

  3. My dentist is Dr. T
    He has a super long name so everyone just calls him Dr. T so it works out great for his profession

  4. My dumb ass thought when it said where they were from at the very beginning that was their names. Like his name was Austin and he is from Texas. See? Perfectly named

  5. I first thought the first guy was named Sun Prairie and I thought: Damn, Americans can name their child anything!

  6. My mother's maiden name is Biebl (sounds like the German word for bible), her parents' names were Josef and Maria and I'm studying theology

  7. Schwinghammer would be a good choice for a p*** actor loool 😀 As a german i must laugh a LOT about that name….never heared it germany as a surname tho 😀

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