How to Network & Make Friends

How to Network & Make Friends


What’s up, beautiful people? It is your homegirl, Shameless, all up in your building. And we are back! Okay, so this one is about networking. I am back here in Los Angeles, to be exact. And I get a lot of questions from you guys, about ‘how do I know this person? How do I know that person?’ And I decided to break it down for you! Break it down. And it’s all about networking. Who’s in your network? I’m going to give you guys a few tips, and then I’m going to use my channel, my life, as an example on how that applies. So that whole saying, ‘it’s not about what you know, it’s who you know.’ Yay and nay. As I said in my first video… I am surrounded by people–talented, amazingly talented artists and people–that do not promote themselves, that do not put themselves out there. So nobody knows who they are. It can be amazing, but if you do not share it, nobody cares. We all know some celebrities that really don’t do a whole lot. But because they know people, they are advancing in life. And that’s not a bad thing. That’s actually a good thing for them. So we could hate all we want, but they’re laughing because they’re getting paid. But if you happen to know a whole lot, and are talented, and are creative and lived a crazy life, AND you know a lot of people, then you is set. You is gravy. So these are some tips on how to network and know more people. So the first tip: be friendly. Being friendly, being kind, being nice will get you far in life. You’re open, you’re warm. The energy that you have within you–people can tell, like, ‘wow that’s a nice person.’ Tip number 2 is be geniunely interested and curious. This is so helpful. It has helped me so much in life. I am a naturally curious person. I want to know how things work. I want to know the people that I’m meeting. Who are you? What do you do? Like… I think your life is so interesting, tell me more! They can be celebrities and they can be senior citizens. Or they can be kids! I just think people are so intriguing and interesting and I have a lot of questions. People like to talk about themselves. So if you can get someone to talk about themselves and if you can genuinely be interested– Because who doesn’t like talking about themselves? Be helpful. It can be as simple as walking up the stairs in the subway station. I can’t tell you how many times I have helped someone with their suitcases; walking up the stairs with giant suitcases. The point is to help someone just to help someone, because I know in life–well, one, I like helping people. And two, it will come back, someway, somehow. I don’t expect it to come back in… ‘can you do this for me now?’ I just put it out there knowing that the universe will just bless me, you know what I mean? And then the next tip is to get a life. You can live in a small town, you can live in a big city–and that means doing anything from fishing, swimming, for me it was piano, synchronized swimming, high diving, calligraphy–so random–playing the flute, learning photography, film, theatre classes; I have this interesting, crazy life. And because of that I can share a lot of that with you guys along with the people that I meet. And when you have a life–it sounds so silly–but when you live a life that is rich and full, when you have a conversation and meet someone for the first time, you guys can talk about things. You can have a conversation. And a conversation leads to, ‘oh my goodness, you do that? I’ve always wanted to do that!’ For example, I went skydiving. That was so much fun. But that’s like a thing that I talk about when I meet people. CHRISTIAN: Oh, no way! Oh nice!
BEN: No way, are you serious?! CHRISTIAN: But wait, you had a– MAYA: I filmed it, I uploaded it, all that fun stuff. CHRISTIAN: Where’d you jump? Santa Barbara? MAYA: So there’s all these connections–that’s how you kind of break the ice. So then it’s conversation. And then there’s dialogue, and it’s people getting to know people because two people are genuinely curious, interested, helpful, and friendly. Okay, and the next tip is put yourself out there. And I mean both online and in real life. Real time. Face to face contact. Online, I can’t even begin to say how many people I’ve met through my YouTube channel and that was because of the video I uploaded; the challenge, how it all came about. But also being in the flesh. Also check out–read the book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People,’ it’s been out for a long time. It’s one of those like, classics. I’ll have a link in the description box below. But you can buy it in the self-help section at any book store. Now a lot of you guys, for example–okay, now how does this relate to my life? Start off with the first one: Jay Ellyiot, my music producer. I met Jay Ellyiot through Mila Victoria. Mila Victoria is my friend, and we both are from Toronto, Canada. I started out as a photographer, she’s a makeup artist. We worked together on a photoshoot. She knew me because of Asian Avenue days–I don’t even know how that’s… that’s crazy, Melanie. But she knew me from then. Fast forward to a few years later, we’re both on YouTube. ‘Oh my god, I love your videos so much! Jay Ellyiot is the bomb!’ I’m doing a video with my cousin Jeigh which is different; the Nicki Minaj video, and that was the first video that I needed Jay Ellyiot music for. So I was like, ‘Mila, can you introduce me to Jay? Would it be cool if I use one of his tracks?’ She’s like, ‘oh my God, yes!’ I asked Jay Ellyiot for a track. He made it. And then he was very helpful and said, ‘if you need any more tracks let me know.’ Gave me more tracks. ‘Oh my goodness, thank you so much! Here, let me put you on blast.’ So that’s how we networked. Another example is Madonna’s personal trainer. I know Marlene through my friend Liinda. Now me and Liinda knew each other from dance classes when we were teenagers. We were both taking dance classes; we met at an audition. Fast forward to later on in life, Liinda is still a dancer. She’s done STOMP, she’s gone on tour with Ne-Yo. She introduced me to Marlene, because Marlene is based in New York. Now we’re all going out. ‘Oh my gosh, Marlene your body is sick. What do you do?’ ‘I’m a trainer. I’ve been doing this–it’s what I do. I train Madonna.’ ‘Oh my God, you’re Madonna’s personal trainer? Tell me more.’ And I have you guys asking me how do I work out, how do I stay in shape. I don’t know. I don’t work out. Let me get a professional. ‘Marlene, would you be down to coming on my channel and sharing some tips on how to get abs?’ ‘Sure, why not?’ That’s how I know Marlene. Oh, Mr. Cartoon and Estevan. Now I know them because they are part of SA Studios. SA Studios, the ad agency that did the campaign for Metro PCS, the one that me and Raye were in. Now, I was just, again, friendly on set, just asking a lot of questions. I am curious to know what camera they’re using. ‘Oh my goodness, you guys are using the Canon T3i? Tell me more!’ And we had a connection. The West Indian connection; Scott and his Jamaican Patois, nearly as bad as mine, but… Anyways, so I met Scott. He’s one of the owners of SA Studios. We keep in touch. ‘Thank you so much for having me on set. I had a lot of fun, thank you for the opportunity.’ ‘Maya, you’re going to LA; we have some people out there we’d like for you to meet.’ I met them, and now I’m curious and genuinely interested in who they are and what they do. I find their life intriguing and fascinating. I’m going to put that on my channel and share it with you guys. So that’s how I know them. And who else was there? Oh, Jeannie Mai. I crashed Fashion Week a couple years ago. And I went up in this getup with bodyguards and giant balloons. And I was just going up to people asking them questions about their outfit; again, I’m interested and curious, I like to ask questions. I saw Jeannie; she had blue hair and she just was fierce, so I go up to her and I’m like, ‘oh my gosh, I love your look. are you part of BCBG crew?’ ‘No, I’m actually a host on the Style Network.’ ‘Oh my God, I don’t have cable. I don’t know who you are, but tell me more!’ She was so warm and friendly and she had this warm energy about her. That was that, move on. Fast forward to two years after, which… a month ago when I was here in LA. I was hanging out with my friend Diana. Diana introduces me to her friend Cathy (inaudible). Cathy and I hit it off, we become friends. Cathy and I get to talking. She’s like, ‘oh my goodness, you need to meet Jeannie Mai, my friend.’ ‘Oh my goodness, Jeannie Mai? She probably thinks I’m crazy.’ I meet Jeannie through Cathy and we hit it off. And now Jeannie and I are thinking of ideas how to help and collaborate one another. She needs help with the pre-Oscar parties for QVC. ‘Maya, can you help me out?’ ‘I will help you! What do you need help with?’ Does it all come together? The being friendly, being helpful, be curious and ask questions–genuine, genuinely curious–I can’t stress enough how annoying it is when people ask me questions and they don’t even listen to my response. That’s no bueno. The more you can do that, the more your network will expand, the more people you will know, and more places you will go. Lastly is your network, your community, your circle of people. I have a big family. I have 8 cousins. There’s 8 of us in total; now that we’re adults, I have one cousin that does illustration, I have another cousin that’s an industrial designer, I have my cousin Jeigh that’s a singer, my brother who’s an art director, his wife… and then they have their networks. And then you meet all their friends and their family. And it’s just–it’s just really interesting how the world works, how connected things are. If you don’t have those then you have to join them. So when I moved to New York City, I didn’t have any friends, I didn’t have any family but my ex at the time. So I was like, ‘I want to meet people.’ I also want to work on my photography outside of my house. What can I do? Let me look for a workspace where I can work outside of my home. I did a bunch of research; I found Con Artist. And I was really interested in them because it was an art collective and the price was nice compared to all the other art–or work–shared work spaces in New York. I went over there, I joined. They have a network of artists, and now that I work out of there, I get to meet people because I’m friendly and I’m helpful. Now we’re all connected–‘do you need help with this?’ ‘Sure, let’s collab, let’s make stuff!’ Now I have a lot of friends in New York thanks to Con Artist. And thanks to just putting myself out there. So that’s the importance of joining communities. It doesn’t even have to be an art collective; that’s just an example I’m using. It can be a volleyball team, it can be a swimming team, anything really. That’s a lot. So I hope that was helpful; I hope you guys walked away learning something. Remember to do you–that’s right, get a life. Be you–just be yourself. We don’t like phonies. And stay true. Be shameless, boo boo! See you guys, Techy Tuesdays. Shameless Sundays. Oh, for the Spring, April/May, I’ll just try to do more transformation videos. Stay tuned. This upcoming one is going to be fun. Okay peace!

Author: Kevin Mason

100 thoughts on “How to Network & Make Friends

  1. love it!!! I love your energy!!! I definitely need to get out of my comfort zone and get a life…I'm from Georgia, and have no friends here (because I moved away in my teenage years)…but yeah I definitely need to getout and network

  2. I am totally fascinated by the amount of talent, skills and knowledge you have. You are like Wonder Woman! Loving your videos!

  3. Such a great video!! Thank you!!! This was super helpful! All of your videos have taken the "scary" out of diving into YouTube!! ๐Ÿ˜˜

  4. The vibe in your videos always makes me want to watch more of your videos. You are definitely someone I'd be friends with in real life. lol. You always have great tips girl. I'm a naturally friendly, talkative, and curious person so luckily that part comes naturally. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. it's different when you do these things like be nice and interested but the person is not interested in you and just dismisses you because they probably feel like your not interesting enough

  6. I know a lot of people, I'm just not sure how to really connect with them. I get so comfortable with those I already know, that I have trouble being vulnerable and networking. But I am working on that & pushing myself past my comfort zone. Thanks for the great content and safe space to share ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜˜

  7. I definitely need to get out more and socialize because I have a habit of shutting myself off from everyone once I'm off work! thank you for sharing these helpful tips! much love!!

  8. Honest question, do these things still apply if you're not a pretty girl? Or person. I mean I have some talent I believe however I'm not this sexy super cute guy. So does this still apply.

  9. i js love your videos..topics….all awesm..u r so interesting person..getting so positive vibes by watching yor videos ….:)

  10. I'm so like that and I truly want to know about them. When my mom would pick me up from work i was never on time because I was getting to know other people around me. When ever people were lost they would come up to me and ask for help. They would say you look very friendly and have a warm vibe about you.. for some people it's natural for others it's hard work..๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

  11. For me, it's more important to have good true friends that I can trust and depend on, rather than have a big network or know a lot of people. When it comes down to it, knowing a lot of people can get you places in life but in the end you can still feel empty and lonely if you don't have a few who you can genuinely trust and know love you and got your back. But I do think these are great tips for getting out there to expand your network if your goal is to gain more friends

  12. Hey Maya! Your videos are great and very informative. I thought I would share with you a website that I heard about to meet people (or like you said, get a life) is Meetup.com. This website helps you find groups in your area so that you can network and make friends. Thank you and keep putting out great videos!

  13. Maya!! I just stumbled across your videos and channel this past weekend and I already love your personality, your aura, YOU!! You seem like the kind of people I want to be around. I'm thinking about restarting my YouTube and Instagram and you are providing all the information I need to know…or should know!! You're truly an inspiration and I hope to meet you one day!! Love from the Midwest!! ๐Ÿ˜˜

  14. Dale Carnegie is da bomb, brilliant book that you used as a reference! His book killed any self-doubt I used to have.

  15. Thanks Maya for another great video. U r an inspiration and this is exactly what I needed to know concerning networking. Keep these great informative videos coming.

  16. You are awesome! This was a amazing video! Let me know if you're ever in Sacramento CA. I would love you meet you!

  17. Funny, being myself got me no where in life and now I am depressed, have anxiety and ptsd. I also have grown to hate people in general. I was like that naturally and never made any friends. Oh well.

  18. before I start to do all this networking, I first have to do my social cleanse and get over my social anxiety. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  19. Soooooo…..basically you have to just be a fucking likable ass person. what if people dont like you? cant make people love u lol ughhhh HELP! this is gonna be hard

  20. thank you. how do you overcome the negetives when trying to network and ppl are mean and you want to remain true to yourself but sometimes you want to just check a boo. 100% love your work

  21. Maya I have been with you ever since you began on youtube. I just re-watched this video and a couple of others because I was in need of healthy reminder to be SHAMELESS BOO and how to get over my excuses. I hope you enjoy your week and I am very thankful for you and your work, sending all love and greatness your way from South Africa.

  22. Thanks soooo much Maya!!!! This is life for me!!! I was just wondering how I could increase my network!! I will definitely be downloading that book to my Kindle library, like yesterday!!! But thank again sooooo much!! I can totally be more intentional about connecting with ppl and begin feeding my curiosity to know more and understand. My innate thing to do is to tell myself that's a stupid question or that that's too intimate of a question. Ahhh! Time to shut that voice off a just do it!! I have things to do and ppl to connect with! I'm becoming so much more free by just watching your videos!! Thanks! ๐Ÿ˜˜

  23. I really enjoyed watching this video …. I'm italian i'm a singer and i I've in LA from 6 years now and I really would like to put myself out there more and better but i feel always so shy to just make friends bc my fears are to be misunderstood bc im not a native english speaker …. But i would like so much to meet new people and communities … so thank you for these helpful tips I will try to use it on my daily bases and see what happen ๐Ÿ™‚ … and why not i would love to get in touch with you too if there will be the chance bc I love to be surrounded by positive, creative people like you .

    Thank you thank you thank you Ciao Bella ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. I dig this. I am an artist and know A LOT of people, but I consider them acquaintances. "Friends" who I can share with, trust, go out with, rely on are RARE. I have those, but they all moved away and I don't travel as much as I'd like. So this is where I find a challenge.

  25. You are so wonderful in sharing your knowledge with the rest of us. I truly believe that your willingness to help others create their own success will be instrumental in ensuring that you will reap many rewards and blessings in your long term future. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Thank you so much!

  26. Hi Maya,

    Just casually re-energizing my job hunt by watching your videos. I've gone through a real emotional slump so thanks for the reminder <3

    Thanks for being you, boo!

  27. Your channel (and you of course) is AMAZING! Never saw such youtube channel with relevant content! Love evrything on it !

  28. love the vid …. a question for ya: since i grew up being very restricted by my parents and am dealing with social awkwardness and social anxiety now as an adult … when i go out and i want to network, people are often turned off by my sometimes not so authentic and rather needy energy …. and I am working on it, like with therapy, meditation, personal development and such …. do you have any other advice for me, on how to transform these types of insecure, feeling insufficient and awkward personality traits?
    thanks in advance!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Your videos have honestly saved my life! I thought I knew a lot about filmmaking but you have taught me so much more!

  30. Really good information, I always have problems with networking & talking to people. I feel like I might be too nosey or I am just asking for my benefit. I feel that I am a really good person but making friends & having is hard for me..its weird to explain..Thanx for all this good ideas!!!

  31. @Shameless Maya Thank you for inspiring me. I am a major loner but after watching this today I stepped out of my comfort zone and invited people to lunch. I hope I don't chicken out but I'm almost certain I won't. I'm going to put myself "out there"

  32. thankย you so much for these kind of videos sis some people are so stingy and won't share any of their personal come-up tips so thank you soo much for helping us out on our come-ups

  33. This sounds nice. Im pretty outgoing but I feel like its harder to network outside of school… I find it more difficult to share my contact information and trust people I don't know

  34. i just want to give you a genuine thank YOU! i stumbled upon your channel almost a year ago when i felt like God spoke to me and told me to start a channel of my own i ignored it however out of fear and insecurity but NOT NO MO!!! i have been watching all of your tech videos taking notes and learning my camera and brainstorming my content and perfecting my brand i am so excited to launch and definitely feel more confident in large thanks to you and how graciously you put out so much informative and entertaining content. so thank you from an aspiring youtuber!! God bless you and Happy New Year!!! xo

  35. Iโ€™ll listen to your response lol are you kidding me! I loveeeee your channel and u of course ๐Ÿ˜€

  36. Omg …. i love you …. that's all that i can say ….. i know you from lavendaire ….. now i feel that i am so blassed to know you both love and peace

  37. By far one of the most genuine, valuable, informative creatives on the Tube lol I appreciate your content so much because I always gain incite. Like my skills always seem to go up because of youโ€™re just genuinely informative. You are appreciated

  38. Shameless Maya i became a fan of yours when you told your story time on how you met Prince. I also have a story time on how i came so close 2 meeting Prince. It's funny that you didn't know he was watching you on the internet and i knew that he was watching me. It's a long story, lol. Everything went wrong when i revealed that i knew that i was communicating with Prince. I even received a call like you that one day he would be calling me. This is why i enjoyed this video, on the internet you never know who will notice the talent that you have on social media. I'm a spoken word artist and i really need 2 network and put myself out there. I have lyrics with music and i really want my voice 2 be heard. Maybe once my uncle George Clinton retires he can help me.Thanks for your advice, i really need 2 put myself out there! Love your videos.

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