29 thoughts on “Dan Shapiro: “Negotiating the Nonnegotiable” | Talks at Google

  1. Thanks for posting the wonderful passionate talk.Negotiation is possible, if the other party comes to the Negotiation table. If the other party with a tribes mindset, closes the door, how can we negotiate the unnegotiable ?

  2. I think this talk is among the most valuable I've ever watched. Two points struck me however as information that is under our noses, but we largely reject (maybe because it does not fit into a preferred, subjective, world view). These are:

    (1) Successful group dynamics can be "boring" rather than "exciting", and in seeking the excitement of conflict, we get conflict. (48:00 A boring debrief may be an excellent thing!);

    (2) A successful tribe aligns behind a strong leader and defers to the leader's views (50:00), which may explain the rampant and otherwise inexplicable success of certain tribes (leaders); it may actually be counter-productive to conflate success of the tribe with the moral values of the tribe, and more valuable to seek to put more scrutiny on the values of the leader. Good followers may align behind morally bad leaders. Strong systems require followers to fall in line faithfully. A sustainable (civilized) system would go further and provide a separate and distinct process to keep leaders in check.

    This would explain the endurance of conflict-inclined leaders. Or am I mistaken?

  3. Dan Shapiro gives you a key to open the door to continue collaboration as it stucks by conflict. I recommend it to everyone who is aware that collaboration and conflict come together and that without collaboration you can't create profound solutions for fundamental conflicts.

  4. see his book: "Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts"
    p.s. a line from my project pitch: "Promoting the subjective narrative; discourse-based decision support".
    #Exhibitum #Protension #DeliberativePolitics #ParticipatoryDeliberation

  5. Great talk – people need to be heard, understood and valued !! With this the Nonnegotiable just became Negotiable !

  6. was looking for dan shapiro from glowforge (and author of Hot Seat: The Start CEO Guidebook).. stumbled upon this video and decided to watch it..

    Did NOT disappoint.. one of the best talks I've seen from talks at google.. ( or more accurately, one of the most personally useful talks).


  7. I couldn't get through 3 minutes of this talk. This guy is so cringey and for someone who specializes in Psych, he sure doesn't show it. "Who didn't get invited to this party? This loser hereeee." And chastising a guy for getting to his seat AFTER telling people to move their seats? Please show some more tact.

  8. Sonnny, if you would get out of your own way (meaning, be less visibly self-conscious (you would be a much better public speaker. It seems like you're thinking more about how you're being perceived, then what you're saying to the audience. Stop giving a flying flip what people think about you, and on the rare occasion when they do think about you, they'll think you're an alpha-stud instead of a beta-pud!

  9. I took Dan's course at Harvard, it is life changing. Dan is without exception one of the most exceptional people I have ever had the privilege to meet.

  10. Dan Shapiro bigotry goes back to the time the USS Iowa was built
    we'se knows how to this deal w/little humanity left in them – 1903 has the answer
    bye bye danny boy

  11. now cut off funding to Harvard
    the bearer of the "original sin"
    institutions that spread lies get no quarter
    not even a nichole

  12. Google spreads lies and have double down
    they pay the Dan Shapiro's to attack President Trump
    cowards aim for the back hiding their
    perciiphy a blast – on display
    I love Trump = Harvad University not at all . . .

  13. I've seen quotes by other psychology professors and other juggernauts of the field, that one cannot negotiate with a psychopath or Narcissist, but after this presentation, it makes me think, maybe, — but even still, it would be momentary/short-term/temporary, not a permanent and sustainable negotiation win. Beware of their recidivism, betrayal, backlash or any other result that will rend a negotiation win null and void in the long-term. Maybe those profs and juggernauts are right, and with psychopaths and narcissists, negotiating the non-negotiable can bring only a short-term win…manage that win properly while you have the chance. With other people with normal healthy minds, maybe the negotiating the non-negotiable can yield long-term, sustainable results. Try to know which one you're dealing with if it matters.

  14. Say what you are seeing about their emotions. You hear and see a person say "I don't want to be in a tribe with that man!"
    Maybe see if that person is angry. And talk about their emotion. Then repeat paraphrase back and make sure you're on the same wave length. You're fighting their emotion. Not their stance.

  15. This is exactly the right way to give a talk on this type of topic. You need to make it emotionally engaging for the attendants and that's the only way they'll pay attention. Especially as the topic is related to the way people get emotionally entrenched in negotiations.

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